October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. For me it’s always nice to see the facebook and instagram posts from other mothers, showcasing their support and experiences. As someone who has miscarried, it’s something that never really leaves you, even after you’ve had another baby and have appeared to “move on”.
Read moreSimone's Birth Story
I felt so anxious at this point, it was if I could not visualize a baby in the birth canal, much less being born from me. All my anxieties about losing the baby during pregnancy seemed to manifest in my mind at this point and I began to cry while on all fours. “I’m too scared!” I told the midwife who was at my head, holding my hand. She told me I could do it, that I was strong and I could birth the baby successfully. I began to hyperventilate because I was so anxious, and the nurse and midwife at my head talked me through some different ways to slow my breathing down and relax. I was so worried, but I knew I had to listen to them. I remember thinking “You have to push the baby out, or they’re going to take it out!”
Read moreAfternoon Delight
As I lay on the other side of the bed, an immense feeling of love and thankfulness permeates through me. I'm so glad I'm able to enjoy these quiet moments, with my toddler son dozing to sleep as my husband creates a thoughtful story, all while the baby growing inside me moves and kicks -- I never want to take any of it for granted.
Read moreI'm Pregnant! June 2018
Really, I can't believe it. 10 months after miscarrying it had become normal to me not to be pregnant. Every passing month wasn't necessarily easy, but it was what life had brought my way and I adapted. Two weeks ago, on a drive up North to close on our condo, I realized I had a still small voice in my head, telling me I couldn't do it. I couldn't get pregnant, and I wouldn't. It was on that drive that I decided to stop that thought, to rebuttal back with "I can and I will!". It was hard to change my mentality, after so many months of accepting that I wasn't pregnant and wasn't holding my baby, it was difficult to even think those little words, but I tried. And maybe it was all for a reason, because maybe my body was already in process of being pregnant.
Read moreWhat To Expect When You Miscarry
Within the span of 48 hours I discovered I was likely to experience a miscarriage and made it to the other side. I became a statistic. I became the 1 in 4 women who experiences pregnancy loss. It was strange to experience this loss because I pride myself in healthy living, and come from a long and fertile line of women. This miscarriage has been an emotional whirlwind, the following months were a complete blur and only now do I feel some clarity regarding the situation.
In an effort to better equip other women who may either experience a miscarriage or know someone who does, I decided to document what it was like to miscarry, because it was surprisingly traumatic and painful. I even took a few pics, because it was all so overwhelming, and mostly because I had never seen anything like it.
Read moreWhat It's Like To Learn You've Miscarried
My days have been filled with angst and worry. What began as a joyous journey towards a new baby has left me with a racing mind and a bloated, aching stomach. It all began last week when I began spotting. It was my first week back at work--teaching--and I assumed that it was a normal part of pregnancy. Even though I hadn't experienced spotting with my first pregnancy, I readily believed that since I had already had a healthy pregnancy I would naturally have another.
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