I love being pregnant. That’s not to say it’s easy or that I’m the lucky one who experiences no side effects, it’s just that when it comes down to it, I’m overwhelmingly happy and thankful to be pregnant.
It’s like having a little friend with you at all times, someone to care for, to think about, to dream of who they will become. And I get to be the person that helps to shape this little miracle and get to know it months before anyone else. To me, these 9 months are 9 months of extra time that I get to spend with this person, feel them move and kick, as we, together, go through the pregnancy.
That’s not to say I don’t experience any challenging side effects of pregnancy. I spent the first trimester in fear of losing it due to my previous miscarriage. I was nauseous during a lot of my trip to Europe this summer, which was challenging as I traveled solo with my toddler son. New this week comes intense heartburn that makes it difficult to sleep. But, all in all, I’m thankful to be pregnant and happy to be on this journey. I don’t say that simply due to my previous pregnancy loss, which certainly placed a lot of things into perspective for me. But I say it, and mean it, because it is truly a blessing. I think the responsibility of carrying a life around within your own is incredible. I am literally growing life and love within me and I try to let it spread through me to become a better person, wife, and mother. I certainly don’t want to look back on the pregnancy after my child is born and remember thinking anything negative about it: what would that mean to my child? How would they feel growing up knowing that I cursed the pregnancy that created them? Or even if they didn’t know, everyone around me that I complained to about my aches and pains would remember that I wasn’t always gracious about the little life growing within me. I don’t want to start my relationship with this child—this human—off on any negative footing. The world can be challenging enough, I don’t want my child to ever feel that it was a burden to me.
So, it’s not that I get to walk through simple pregnancies without complication, nor am I effected emotionally in the least, but to me it is all about perspective. Am I happier to be pregnant that annoyed at some of the symptoms? Overwhelmingly so, yes! Do I feel blessed to be carrying a 27 week old baby that could be saved if born today? YES! I recognize that some women don’t receive the opportunity to experience pregnancy, that life is short, and time being pregnant is even shorter in comparison. I have known friends to lose pregnancies, to birth children already in heaven, to care for sick children who pass away, who lose children to accidents. How can I, possibly, in the face of so much loss and heartache complain about heartburn? I choose to remain content, to be thankful for this opportunity, this baby. It is the start of my role as a mother of two, and I need to be flexible and grow as the days bring me closer to that role.
I love being pregnant.
